9000% More Neck
Redigestable — Wieldless — Knotty Strong
There comes a time in every person’s life
when your little lanyard-wearing uncle utters
his last words: please, deactivate my puppercino
pinterest. Was this a mistake? We’re sad (heart-slain)
to see you go. Are you sure? Resubscribe
here: It feels you’ve been in my life
all my life I don’t know anything
else. But the 30,000 cents a month
beg to differ. Beg to silly my head
so silly. The surveillant gnomes stream
in in screams! So I jump about. It’s like
you’ve always been my final guess and the
question is a doozy. Product relief. One thing
you must know is the Green Heron. Tucked
in, sleeping one-legged but soon as daybreak’s
radiation butters the vegetable world the Green
Heron gains 9000% more neck.
Such is the internet of things.
Alas, unseat exaggeration
for productivity gains. Or, if one is to follow
the drifting pollen of money’s piss flowers,
what mouth is there? Beg to differ or talk in
charts. [Account first name], are you ready
to be rewarded? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛) ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Default Browser
Supersaturation — Liminal Duck Duck Goose — Propinquity
Throw caution to the parent of landlord
logic, handsome mould spores taxi a certainty
that is not yours. Purplesome. How familiar.
What is a little feudalism among mum and dad
investors? Impassable actors mythologise top tier
grovelling. Invoice the petiole. Reverse engineer
welcoming clover. Become immediately bureaucratic.
Hit (duck…) like (duck…) and (duck…)
subscribe (goose!) if you’re serious about giddying
up. Death thinks of us the whole time we are
not thinking of him. Tour sleep. Trim the time of
the match data. Go here to collapse all. I’m going to
do theft before it does me, again (heart-smoked),
and lock-in an administrative yawn. O. Greetings
shopper, call me problematic but to date no
a single [unit of productivity] can explain why
it is always stolen fruits and never stolen
time? [Do not reply] We’re hiring! This table
is non-smoking and non-eating. Management
thanks you for your anticipated crowkeeping.
Memory hunt. Water the dead patch. Need add-ons.
Soar close to your storage limit. A variety unto
itself, the fold of its earthlingness a spongy proof but
proof nonetheless. Throughout the ages for ages, don’t.
The term’s more modern usage was evolved to involve
the family as the essential mode of replicating labour to
ensure the survival of current settings. As my little lanyard-
wearing uncle used to scroop: when one tab closes, another
opens. My little lanyard-wearing uncle died doing what
he loved: chugging puppercinos. Haters will call this The
Sound. The sound of deconstructed painkillers. Think
of a great yacht inviting you into its friendship group
or a colonoscopy as being pegged by CCTV. And the egg?
The egg will be fried with another egg. Here I am vacuum-
packing Pikachu steaks in the midnight kitchen. If you don’t
know what a Pikachu is then you are my dad. Good evening,
Thomas Lesley. Remember the future next time you’re chasing
a world title driving to work. Travel through a windshield knowing
that ever since jackpot notifications creepered the digital sun-
dial, many are saying this: Take me there: Giddy up:
Giddy up or else.
Enshittification Gothic
Scomfished — Greased — Laned
At the risk of sounding like someone, futureproof
the suction of chance. Follow money’s speed camera
where mountains used to do mountain things. Please
confirm. Trade in old computations for new worse ones.
Goblin this waltz. Usher in a clunkier significance. Hymnal
implosive. Search the bar, flooded. Peel back the skin
of the year. The day breaks a bone falling over units.
Woundless gardens snort, uncracked gnomes elongate
their attitude toward passersby, hatted as they chatter the brink
and what could be better than a subscription to quicksand
and lemonade? Better to shine than make sense. After all, the real
old mill is the dread we make along the way. Alas, another life
duly optimised. Busy a detailed mistake. Clone a misdone
rollout. Permeate well! There comes a time in every automation
when feral verisimilitude. For example, each day I hold a processed
meat to my ear and talk on the baloney phone. If you agree, do you:
(a) Share (b) Shart (c) Shark (d) Shard (e) Shane? Select for
a small monthly fee but at what cost? You can trust us. We possess
an unrivalled sense of what’s hot and what is spiders. Cute ass samples
will decide what happens with the remaining light. My little lanyard-
wearing uncle told me his most Beckettian experience was watching
a particularly Lynchian David Lynch film, which he described as
impossibly Kafkaesque, before climbing into a piping hot puppercino.
Were dinosaurs really all that great when they were so repetitive
You wouldn’t naughty a boss or ruthless a morning jog, unfreeze
a frame. Thwart rapport, realising this was a time-sensitive
interaction. A free trial. A wallet jabbed between bottle necks.
What’s more important: making a decision or making a sound?
You don’t have to answer today. Take your time. Take someone
else’s time. Turn toward the exit and reply warmly. There is nothing
that can’t be rearranged.